Horror Episode Review: The River, Episode 3

Episode 3: Los Ciegos

Overall: C

Acting: C

Writing: C-

Story: C

Technical aspects: B

Effects: C+

IMDB

Directed by:

Michael Katleman

Starring:

Joe Anderson

Leslie Hope

Eloise Mumford

Paul Blackthorne

Daniel Zacapa

Pauline Gaitan

Thomas Kretschmann

Shaun Parkes

Bruce Greenwood

In Episode 3, the crew is still seeking to rescue Emmet Cole. They hope that they have some kind of new lead, and go into the jungle. Unfortunately, when they stop for the night, it becomes clear that something is following them. Jahel, who has the most knowledge of the superstitions and legends of the area, believes that they’re being followed by the Morcego, a semi-paranormal/semi-real tribe that will judge whether they are worthy of survival or not. (Since it’s this show, of course she’s right.) After spending the night in the jungle, one by one they start to go blind. Seeking answers on the boat, they find out that it’s probably a poison, which has an antidote, if they can find the right tree. The few non-blinded members set off to seek out the antidote. Meanwhile, everyone on the boat has gone blind, including Lincoln, who is trying to tend a very severe wound of Clark’s. And of course the Morcego are on the ship as well, threatening to kill them. And meanwhile on the expedition off-boat, the cameraman A.J. is the only one who can still see, but he plans on abandoning the others. Ultimately he finds the antidote, though he has to face what turns out to, of course, be his most paralyzing fear in order to do so.

Spoilers for the episode: seriously, this crappy ending bugs the hell out of me. Simultaneously A.J. and Clark do something self-sacrificing. Cool. And this means that the Morcego decide to let them live, going so far as to actually save A.J. from death. But… really. It’s just so… cliché, yes? The idea that “oh, we’re so doomed, oh God, what will we do? We’re all going to die, because we’re being judged” but then oh, someone is willing to be a martyr, so everything is okay again, because of the goodness of the human spirit. It’s just so obvious and such an overplayed trope that I couldn’t take it seriously. End of the most serious spoilers.

Otherwise the episode is all right. I liked the development A.J. got as a character, since we didn’t see much of him in the first two episodes. Enough new hints were placed for some of the ongoing plot threads to keep it interesting. The Morcego were pretty creepy looking, though they held to the idea that “the less you see the scarier it is” for most of the episode. Once you do get a good look at them, they’re plenty freaky, but kinda in the same way the dolls in episode 2 were. Like it’s just so obviously done specifically TO be creepy, that it doesn’t feel surprising or real. I know that horror obviously has the aim to be horrifying, but something about this just feels like they’re doing it wrong. I’m not sure I can explain what I mean all that well... But in my opinion (for the kind of horror this seems to want to be,) doing it right would be a good atmospheric horror, where it’s unsettling and creepy and the horror serves to further the story. Where ultimately, the story is most important, it just happens to have a bunch of creepy happening, too. And this feels more like they just wrote a story with the intent of tying various creepy things together, so they can point and go “hey, it’s horror!”

I’ve heard a lot of “OH GOD, THIS IS THE WORST THING EVER PUT ON TELEVISION” opinions, and I think that’s kind of an exaggeration. It’s still entertaining enough and has a few legitimately creepy moments, but it’s also kind of underwhelming. Probably especially so if you’ve seen a lot of horror things in the past. My opinion hasn’t changed much since the first couple episodes. I’m still watching, and still want to see more, but this episode definitely felt weaker than the first two, and that’s not what I hope for out of a short series.

Horror Episode Review: The River, Episodes 1 and 2

Two reviews in one! Mostly because they were presented together as the pilot.

 

Overall: B-

Acting: C

Writing: B-

Story: B

Technical aspects: C

Effects: C

Episode 1, “Magus” on IMDB

Episode 2, “Marbeley” on IMDB

Directed by:

Jaume Collet-Serra

Starring:

Joe Anderson

Leslie Hope

Eloise Mumford

Paul Blackthorne

Daniel Zacapa

Pauline Gaitan

Thomas Kretschmann

Shaun Parkes

Bruce Greenwood

In the 80s, Emmet Cole (Bruce Greenwood) starred in a wildlife/exploration/nature show along with his family: his wife, Tess (Leslie Hope,) and son Lincoln (played as an adult by Joe Anderson.) A bit later in life, he continues to go on expeditions, eventually at the expense of the relationships with his family. Six months before The River begins, he goes missing on a trip to the Amazon. Just as his family, in particular his estranged son, are coming to terms with his assumed death, a signal from his beacon is received, giving hope that he or some of his crew may be alive. The company that originally funded his show will even fund an expedition to go recover the beacon and possibly Emmet himself, but only if they can get his family and some of the rest of the original group involved with the show to go along.

Lincoln reluctantly agrees. So he; his mother; Clark (Paul Blackthorne), the producer of the old show; Lena, the daughter of a cameraman who went missing along with Emmet; Emilio (Daniel Zacapa), the mechanic of Emmet’s old ship; Jahel (Pauline Gaitan), Emilio’s daughter and assistant; Kurt (Thomas Kretschmann), a security and bodyguard; and A.J. (Shaun Parkes), the cameraman; all head off to the Amazon.

Creepy things happen from the outset, as they find the beacon underwater, with no sign of the crew. Then the ship is found along with some very disturbing tapes recorded by Emmet. Eventually things stray to the downright paranormal, with a demon spirit locked on board the ship, eventually giving Tess the belief that Emmet is still alive.

Much of the first episode is devoted to introducing the characters, which I appreciate was done with at least moderate non-awkwardness. It’s not perfect and seamless by any stretch, as there were some moments I was still very aware that I was being fed exposition. However, I can certainly imagine it being far worse.

The show is set up as being a mix between the Crocodile Hunter style nature show of Emmet Cole’s from the 80s (and I love how very 80s they make those clips feel), a found footage narrative in the style of The Blair Witch Project or Paranormal Activity, and the reality TV show that Clark and the studio are intending this to be. I don’t know if this is intentional, but I think it’s kind of in a way a wonderful commentary on how TV has changed over the last couple decades. As a kid, I loved nothing more than the Discovery Channel and NatGeo and such, with their nature documentaries and exploration shows. Now, almost everything, including those same channels, has moved into the realm of “reality TV” and that kind of contrived drama. I like that the same progression from “educational, and people enjoy it” to “cheap and contrived drama, and people enjoy it” is visible in the fictional production company.

Episode 2 begins with Jahel being possessed by Emmet’s spirit. She realizes that he must still be alive, even though he wants them to leave for fear of them being in danger. Tess and the crew set out to try and find him, based on clues from the countless (but unorganized) tapes of his expedition. With one idea of where to go, the group sets off and finds a very creepy tree covered in children’s dolls. Lincoln even finds a childhood toy of his own there, meaning Emmet must have been through. The tree is tied to a legend about a child’s spirit that out of loneliness drowns travelers, with the dolls being an attempt to comfort her and pacify her. Once again, the paranormal legend turns out to be true, though I’ll spare the spoilers of what happens with it.

In this episode, I admittedly found the doll tree creepy. (And there’s a creepy doll… that always follows you… it’s got a ruined eye…that’s always…open… Though seriously, go download that song. Jonathan Coulton is awesome and I love that song, and yes you can get it for free legitimately.) I’m one of those people who does get kind of freaked by dolls. And I’ve heard this legend before, though they’ve taken a few liberties from the one that I know. (The one I know of is the Isla De Las Muñecas, or Island of Dolls, and is actually something of a creepy tourist destination.) But at the same time, it felt a bit like “HEY, THIS IS CREEPY! ARE YOU CREEPED OUT YET? BE CREEPED OUT.” Maybe it’s just that I watch a lot of horror, so I’m familiar with a lot of the tropes. But while dolls are pretty creepy in their own ways, it seems like just such a stock “now you’re afraid, yes?” that it felt a little lazy and uncreative. But hey, it was still pretty unsettling.

Anyway, in terms of quality, the show is pretty average. It has good points and bad points, for sure. Positives include some of the things I mentioned above, with at least somewhat competent writing in terms of character introduction and a reasonably interesting story. Unfortunately, the acting is inconsistent in quality, with some truly cringe-worthy moments but some pretty good performances as well. The effects are nothing special, but they’re passable for a TV series. Other times, the writing feels a bit lazy and like it’s just trying to force the plot forward, rather than having it develop naturally. There are some badly explained shortcuts, like insisting they’ll be able to recognize locations from Emmet's tapes, which I find ridiculous. If you’re not immensely familiar with the setting, all the trees along the Amazon river are going to look a lot like all the other trees along the Amazon river. And when the tapes are of parts of the inner jungle, not even bordering the river, it’s even more suspect that people unfamiliar with the area will know where to go to find him. There’s also some kind of shoddy research or explanations given, like with the dolls and the insistence that “well, originally dolls were used to house the spirits of the dead.” Again, I’m nit-picking based on personal interests and knowledge, but while in some cultures this is true, it’s not true of the whole damn world.

While the show probably isn’t destined to go into the annals of time as a Great Series, it does manage to be entertaining enough and have enough in the way of dangled plot threads that I’ll keep tuning in. It’s not perfect, and the flaws are pretty apparent in some cases, but it’s at least captured my interest for the time being.